by Maaki My Special place
1.People
2.Food
3.Hot Pools
4.Waves
5.Complex
My favourite relaxing place is the ocean spa. I see my Friends and Family carefully relaxing.while my Mom was swimming in the deep huge fat pool for Iron Maori. I was hoping trying to escape from the crowd in my way.i was going up and down to escape
The delicious food smells so great when it goes through my nostril. When i dip in my chips in my favourite sauce Tomato and Aioli. When I biting my chips my step dad Sam was getting drinks for us.
The Hot pools was ticklish when i gently put my little toe on the water.(rule) it not ok to jump in a cold Pool be cause other people are relaxing. When I gently hop in the Pool or walk in it was so warm.
When me and my Mom was relaxing in the spa we heard the waves swishing left to right.While we were relaxing me and my Mom saw a medium house hanging down a cliff.
i like how you used a lot of detail (feedback) maybe you can add some complex and compound sentences.
ReplyDeleteStar: I like how you added a lot of detail. Star: I also like how you said gently put my feet in the pool
ReplyDelete(forward) you should add some complex and compound sentences.
it was a smart idea to put a lot of detail in it
ReplyDelete